May it Please the Court.

The first day of Spring came, and with it also came the season for oral arguments.

I did my oral argument last Friday and was pretty nervous/excited to present... but mostly excited to get it over with.

After my practice round and many many hours spent researching and nailing the neutral reportage privilege down like the back of my hand, I woke up Friday morning, put on my snazzy black suit and nude high heels, and took off for Contracts. After class, I practiced my argument a couple more times with Mr. 31 while trying desperately not to laugh every time he looked at me with a serious face saying "But counsel, isn't the neutral reportage privilege..." The word counsel really is just ridiculous. I'm not a counselor. Counselors are for day camp. And junior high.

Anyway. So when my time came I left Mr. 31 with my sugar-free Red Bull and went on over to Warren Hall 3B, where I waited for a very long 15 minutes with my opponent before being called in. I entered the room and saw the three judges--black-robed and all--sitting before the podium. The bailiff aka our TA ushered us to our seats, and I took my appropriate seat in the Appellant's chair while my opponent took the remaining chair for the Appellee.

After sitting, we heard the presiding justice state, "On the calendar today is the matter of Lucie Manet v. The Appalachia Leader, Inc. Counsel, please state your appearance for the record."

I then stood up and said, "Audrey Olson representing The Appalachia Leader, Inc." and afterward my opponent followed. Fancy, right?

I then went up to the podium--not so nervous anymore now that we were in the swing of things--and was prepared to fly into my argument. I really did have that thing down. I knew my roadmap, I knew my argument, I knew my cases. I first needed to just get my intro out there, nail my roadmap, and then prepare for the judges to start questioning me as I presented. After all, oral arguments aren't just like Toastmaster's speeches in Elementary School. They are like a Q&A with the judges. They stop you whenever they want to question what you are saying and press you for more information. Kind of scary, yes...kind of impossible, no.

So, I stood up, and began.

"May it please the Court. My name is Audrey Olson and I represent the Appellant, The Appalachia Leader Inc. At this time I would like to reserve two minutes for rebuttal. Your Honors, the case before us today is a case about the public's right to know the truth. Accordingly, we are requesting that this Court reverse and remand the decision of the lower court..."

"HOLD ON, BUT COUNSEL..."

Instantly, I freeze. What is going on? How am I being questioned already? I haven't even BEGUN stating my roadmap! They're not supposed to question me until AFTER the roadmap! What could they have to ask already!? I don't even have my main points out there yet! PROFESSOR PEARL, WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING US!?

Ok, let's get real, it wasn't that bad. But it definitely was NOT what I had expected. In my practice round with the Professor, I got my entire argument out there. I had a handful of questions to answer, yes, but I ultimately was still allowed to make my main points. In my final round last Friday, I did not get to make a single one of my arguments unless one of my judges had expressly asked me about it. Why was this? Well, because after that first question, BEFORE my roadmap, mind you, the questions never ended. One by one they came, trying to tear apart every point I was making. Honestly, it felt a little like getting beat up. If you're going to be a lawyer, you definitely need a nice layer of thick skin. I don't have thick skin, however, I'm pretty good at pretending like I do. Which I guess is why the Court told me afterwards that they were especially impressed by my apparent "confidence." After all, acting really does run in the family...

I was particularly excited when one of the judges went on a tangent and began questioning me on a topic that wasn't one of the issues on appeal. I was even more enthused when that same judge stole approximately 45 seconds of my 2 minute rebuttal so that she could flip through pages of the record solely to end up saying "Oh nevermind, I can't find it. Go on." She sure was a gem.

All in all, it was brutal, but I guess it was kind of fun.

I'm mostly excited to see what Professor Pearl has to say about how she thought it went, since a lot of the criticism we got from the judges included points that contradicted what she had told us to do in oral argument.

They teach us again and again that the law is not uniform, that it's open to interpretation, and that it's constantly changing.

Yeah, I can definitely tell.