So, if you assumed that my absence from the world of blogging has been due to the fact that I am incredibly popular and am always just too busy greeting my fans to stop and cyber-document my life...you were incorrect. However, if you concluded that my lack of blogging has been a result of my constant struggle to keep a balance in my life because of law school and its demands, you can pat yourself on the back, because you, my friend, are a winner. Either way, you probably weren't engaged in either of these assumptions because chances are my 5 total readers have better things to do with their lives than to start any sort of analysis regarding why Audrey Olson hasn't updated her blog. But that's besides the point.
Yes, I've been busy. Very busy. Up to this point in law school, everything has just kind of been building up. I go to class, I do the readings, I try to keep up on my outlines, and attempt to get enough sleep in the process. Last week I think it was all starting to hit me pretty hard cause I always seemed to feel like I had a massive headache and wanted to go to sleep. And at times like these, I kind of tend to freak out. Because sometimes, I get really stressed out over this stuff. Sometimes, I get really paranoid and frustrated. Sometimes, I feel like the dumbest person in class. Sometimes, I'm thoroughly convinced I will never get a job.
But sometimes I also feel awesome for knowing an answer before the professor says it in class. Sometimes, I feel giddy and ecstatic when Mr. 31 does cute things like bring me these when I'm not feeling well:
Sometimes, I feel fulfilled after accomplishing my study goals for the day. Or for doing something simple like cleaning my room. Sometimes, I feel relieved when my friends make me laugh. Always, however, whether my day be up or down, I feel at peace when I remember that Heavenly Father is constantly watching over me and will take care of me and everything that I'm scared of. That sounds really cheesy, I know. But if I'm being completely honest (and this is a public blog, so it's probably best that I am), that knowledge is what gets me through the day, every day. It's the only thing that can.
Talk about an emotional rollercoaster, eh? However, that's pretty much been the gist of things. I've been in this routine of the expected fluctuating emotions, the expected reading assignments, the expected class structures, the expected annoying comments by the same 5 people in class...At the end of the day, it's all just been the learning process. Until now.
Why, you ask? Because this Friday... dun dun dun... is my Crim midterm (Come on, Halloween is coming up, how can I not include creepy sound effects?) Now, for the undergraduate student, usually this wouldn't be that big of a deal. I mean yeah it's your grade, but you usually have a chance to make up for any potential screwup with additional midterms or papers later in the semester. Here, it's a bit different. In Crim, we have one midterm, which is 25% of our grade. And the only way to makeup for a screwup on the midterm is the final, which is 75% of our grade. That is all. Needless to say I want to do well on this freaking test. Before, we were learning. It was stressful, but it was safe. Now, testing that knowledge has officially commenced, and things are a bit different. The stakes are high, the feeling of competition is sinking in, sleep deprivation is at its worst. Let the races begin!
On a brighter note, outside of the realm of academics, Halloween frenzy is here! And yes, that naturally means I am listening to The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack often. On repeat. Whilst singing along. Maybe I shouldn't share that publicly. Anyway, Halloween festivities I have thus far accomplished include:
-Making pumpkin chocolate chip cupcakes
-Making pumpkin PANCAKES
-Going to a haunted house (Poor Mr. 31 has scratches as proof)
-Getting my face painted at the pumpkin patch
-Carving pumpkins with my lovelies from the La Jolla Ward
Yes, Lani did paint kitty whiskers and ears on my face, and yes I did make a Kitty Pumpkin. Of course I'll get married and be actively social and not end up alone with a bunch of felines, why do you ask?
-Drinking apple cider
-(Almost) consuming a whole bag of candy corn.
I probably should stop having fun and start reading Brooks's blue book for the 2nd time or something like that, but I just love the holidays way too much. Speaking of which, the San Diego YSA is having a massive Halloween dance on some boat on Friday and I still don't know what I'm going to be. So, if you have any creative suggestions for a costume... I'm all ears.
It's funny, I remember before moving here telling myself I was going to be super focused and spend every waking moment in the library. Yeah, that definitely hasn't ended up happening. But let's get real... being Halloween-y with awesome friends and a super cute boy is kind of worth sacrificing my study time. Or at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself right now. Either way, Halloween time is here, and it's an understatement to say I just can't get enough.
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